Reflection

Thursday, August 13, 2009

okay.. today's post is gna be just some random thoughts and stuff cuz im really bored and taking a break from bio:P

hmmm
when i ask people of my age what they want to do in the future, the response comes back preety much the same "see how lor, do finish a level then talk" very few like me have a clear line of ambition, well not really a clear one but a general direction if you will, for me the end has to be clear cause i see no point in working towards a vague future. right now in these last few months before the big examinations jc students everywhere scrambling and mugging, for what? for a good uni spot, but the thing is they dont even know what they want. but society here pushes you to mug and work hard, it pushes you to compete with your peers you have to, or your future is going to be bleak, if you get into a bad uni course your life is gonna suck. can you see how ridiculous that sounds? how many people in the world make careers without uni or even high school certifications? what it takes is brains and eyes... look at our world.. look at it closer, filled with lies, cover ups and propaganda. i look around and see many stupid followers in our world, marionettes pulled by strings, i can see what the band: the killers are trying to say in their song "human" are we human or are we dancer? why do we work so hard? we're not even sure what we want, sure a degree is important, and yes not limiting your choices is a good thing but what i cant stand is the message that everyone seems to be getting: pass As or your life will be hell.
society is a selection pressure where only the fittest survive, and to survive you gotta play by the game, what many dont know is there are hidden rules, what you see is not what you get, they will throw you every example to prove their point, but in reality how many of such do you get? im sick and tired of society's direction, doing things for the sake of being safe, the way i see it we're a bunch of cowards not willing to take a leap, a leap of faith. playing things safe like that would get us somewhere. sigh, the trap of being in singapore. a bunch of cowards...
of course i might not know better but still..
my goal has been clear since i was sec 1, i knew what i wanted, cause even at the age of 13 i saw the world for what it was, i saw human beings for what they were. violent, selfish and vile creatures, we always distinct ourselves from animals, but in the end we're preety much simmilar at the end of the day, our desires gets the better of us and we give in to the animal inside, human beings are capable of anything to fufill that desire. there was nothing wrong with that, but humans created the right and the wrong, many just stick to it no distinction between morals and ethics doing every "right" thing because we are afraid, of our god of the law of what people think of us. but right or wrong is never there, its just a fabrication by our leaders past and present so that we may be brought into order. but whe one is pushed everything is capable. because in fact our capacity to do bad things is not gone, its just supressed by fear, given the right catalysts humans are recipe for murder, rape, theft and anything undersun that is bad, note that there is good and bad, justice and injustice, but right or wrong...its just our own perception of those 4 things muddled by external influences. A lion kills another lion for competition of territory and food and mates, humans used to do that but everything i said above has stopped us from doing that... but are we still capable? yes, underneath our extirior lies the animal instinct to get what they want with whatever it takes or die trying, humans are just bad cookie doughs moulded in to a attractive delicious looking shape, but humans differ from animals with one point... choice, whether we retain that mould before the cookie bakes is up to us, a life time in the oven every single person has a choice, to stick to the status quo and just maintain the so called right or break out of it and retain their animal instincts, its a tough choice for many, i agree but we still have a choice, and at the end of the day when someone is found dead, that person is someone's husband/wife, son/daughter/ someones friend and someone is responsible.. this is injustice...for life is just a vicious cycle, sooner or later what goes around comes around, and im the person who wants to bring this cycle around to restore justice to the innocent. Im not for the right or for the wrong.. i just want to monitor the cycle, make sure good is balacned with bad because the world we're living in now aint so bad and someone shld be there to punish those who dont conform to it... right or wrong is a perception muddled by external inflluences, i dont care much about it, even good or bad is a perception if a person robs a bank to save his dying wife, many might argue its bad/wrong but some might say he did a good/right thing, he a poor man who is uncapable of saving his own wife.... whats so wrong if he were to take some money from the rich and fat people who dont really need the money anyway its just sitting there.. intetions, should we consider them? but when he robbed the bank, whats important is taht he set in motion a cycle... he took something that wasnt his and he scared innocent people.. thats injustice upsetting the balance. and i want to bring that justice back..
i like to use my brain and think, particularly solving problems observing people, i know many things that goes on, take for example my classroom, i know what goes on everywhere, i just act that i dont, cause honestly couldnt care less of this schoolyard shananigans, but i know my brain capacity can be used for a greater cause. im just stuck in this piece of junk because right here its a "must" to have good grades to progress society demands it, but i know when im out of this junk yard, its when it starts when i start to realize my true potential when my brain capacity will be used to crack down criminals and bring the justice back to the cycle

bottom line..
must study for a levels liao :P
Posted by 火 at 6:41 PM

happy national day!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

~and thats about the most patriotism im gonna show~
lol actually typed out alot of crap but found it too weird to post haha
so anw yea
thats all:P
Posted by 火 at 5:47 PM

dumb dumb dumb dumb

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

feeling kinda dumb now, why do i always have to wait till the very last moments to realize i have to train/study/work for something?
why do i always end up shortchanging myself cuz i did not practice/work hard enough?
why am i so lazy lazy lazy? Sigh, never thought much abt going into army early, but now i have the best reason to not go in early, and i have to now:P sigh.... stupid stupid stupid!
like tht for NAPFA, like that for O lvls, like that for almost everything in my life! gah, why am i shortchanging myself, hopefully i wont do this for As.... rah feeling kinda bad now...
still im sorry...

thanks cheang for helping me so much thru this anw...

~ps: is there something wrong with blogger?~
Posted by 火 at 10:07 PM